Much of the change is likely to be related to the rising cost of living (to bring it back), which has left many of us feeling anxious, or under pressure, about our finances and those of others. In fact, 30% of 18-34 year olds were found to be aware of their date budget when suggesting a date venue and one in five (21%) 18-34 year olds have more likely to set themselves a budget to spend. on a date than they were at the beginning of the year.
And the good news? We’ve had some of our best dates enjoying a beer and sharing a packet of chips in a park somewhere, or, as we learned in the middle of jams, going for a walk with someone, proving that dates cheap is sometimes the best. Plus, let’s face it, if the person you’re on a date with is extremely boring or has a lot to say about cryptos, it’s unlikely that a super fancy dinner or glitzy cocktail bar is going to sweeten the pill.
The main question is, how do we start the conversation about money? Well, you’re in luck, because Alice Tapper, the financial expert behind the popular social media platform Go Fund Yourself, has shared her top tips on how to approach money conversations with your date.
“This newfound transparency about finances among young people likely stems from the hard times they currently face with the cost of living crisis,” she says. “Although this new trend of ‘honest money dating’ didn’t come from a very positive place, I think it’s a positive thing in itself, as it shows that people are choosing to date on their own terms and within their own budget.” .
“Lovers need to feel comfortable talking about finances, because after all, not many people have unlimited financial resources to spend on dates – so why not be more open about it?” Not only that, but being more open about your budget can ultimately lead to a better dating experience, as you’ll feel less pressure to spend beyond your means.”
We agree, just tell us how to do it please…
How to quietly suggest a first date
Being 10 minutes into a three course dinner and realizing there is zero atmosphere is an expensive but avoidable situation. Save yourself the pain of having to come up with an elaborate toilet excuse (your husband suddenly contracting a tropical virus isn’t convincing…) and kick things off with a short, simple date. A walk in the park on a sunny Saturday, a quick coffee. You get the idea. Bumble’s interest badges are a great way to learn more about what makes a person tick, so look out for these in your dating profile and use them as inspiration to suggest your own dating activity.
How to suggest splitting the bill
It’s a moot point, but in my opinion, no one should pick up the full tab unless they really, really want to. Times are tough and thankfully we are moving beyond gendered expectations of who pays for what. While payment can be a kind gesture, it often creates unnecessary expectations and pressure. On a first date especially, there’s no shame in confidently asking ‘shall we break up?’ In fact, research from Bumble shows that a quarter (25%) of Gen Z and millennials believe you should split date costs even if you and your date have different salaries.
How to know if you’re on the same page about finances
So how do you understand someone’s values when it comes to finances? Having open conversations about money and earning with your date – also known as ‘honest dating’ according to Bumble, are good places to start. In a first meeting, you can start things off with questions like ‘Is the job important to you or a means to an end?’ Ultimately, you can move on to bigger conversations, like whether they prioritize saving and paying off debt. Remember, there are no right answers – it’s all about your values and whether they match.
And remember…values over wealth
Finally, while we’ve all heard the advice that it’s important to find someone who has the same values as you, remember that financial values are a “thing” for them. We’re all guilty of making judgments about a date, but what someone earns is only half the story—while it’s good to want financial stability, one’s behaviors and values around money are more important than what they earn.